As time passed it became clearer and clearer that Hamish was his fathers’ son.

No denying it.

On the outside just as much as on the inside. He was smart, quick and had more than a few difficulties with social and behavioural boundaries. Although, Sherlock thought, it was not as bad as his behaviour had been when he was the boys’ age. He knew that all the credit for this was due to John. The doctor was patient with Hamish and realised that if he treated the little boy like an adult (which he was, if a person was judged by their intellect rather than their height), Hamish would understand his reasons for asking him to do something and accept it, though not completely and certainly not knowing why other people did things that way.

Sherlock saw the love in John’s eyes and knew that he loved the little boy not just because he was their son but because it was Sherlock’s. He saw Sherlock in him.,, and the detective couldn’t stand the thought of John not having a son of his own. Hell, he wanted a little John. A beautiful blonde boy with huge blue eyes, a little brother for Hamish who would be a proud older brother (not in the weird way Mycroft was) and would be a mentor to the smaller child. Also, he hoped, that Hamish would be a brother who could keep Hamish out of trouble (he hoped because if the boy was anything like John there would never be any trouble for him to get into).

He wanted to tell all of this to John but didn’t know how. How would he react? Would he want another child? Was raising Hamish a difficult thing for him, difficult enough to consume all his energy? Oh, should he help him? Too many variables… He should ask Mycroft! He was willing to help with having Hamish. But asking him to help…

He should talk about it with John. Not directly about John being the biological father, no. Just… about having another child.

He was waiting for the perfect time. It came when Hamish was doing an experiment in his room, John and Sherlock were sitting in the living room close enough to hear if something went wrong.

„You seem happy”. Now, that is  a stupid way to start but Sherlock needed to start the conversation.

„That’s because I am”, answers John. „Aren’t you?”

„Never been happier. Having you two is the most amazing feeling I have ever known.”

„Yeah, I know what you mean.”

„I never thought I could love like this. Guess I just needed the right person.”

„I always knew. You are extraordinary and well… your love is, too”, laughed John; and his eyes are shining with love and pride.

Awkward silence fell between them. Well it was awkward only for Sherlock since he wanted to discuss important matter but just didn’t know how. Should he compliment John? No, no, John is not a vain man. Should he try to make him feel like he made this decision? No, John would never fall for that. Oh, God, it’s harder than he thought. Why is it this difficult?! He wished it was as easy as it was for heterosexual couples. Hell, yeah, he would jump him right here right now. No, wait, no. If he wanted the child to be John’s than he would need John to be on top. Well that could be solved. He would just need to…

STOP IT! Stop fantasizing and do something useful!

Ah, to hell with it! He should text him. It’s always easier to express what he wants in messages. But that’d be weird.

I want to have another child. –SH

No, even John doesn’t have a sense of humour for this. Why is it so complecated to say out loud what he wants? I just…

„…want to have another child.”

John drops his teacup and coughs louldy, tying not to choke.

„I’m sorry, WHAT?”

Oh no! No, no, no. He said it out loud, didn’t he? Sherlock's cheeks heat up with a blush and he can feel John eyes burning on his face as he looks at him questioningly.

„Did you just say you want another child?”, John asks, still shocked by the revelation which came out of nowhere.

„I… guess I did.”, whispers Sherlock. That is not the way he wanted to do this. It is light years away from the way he wanted to. He wanted to be gentle and make John feel that it’s a mutual decision. And now? He just dropped the bomb on John. „But I didn’t want to tell you like this, believe me.”

„How long have you been thinking about this?”, that’s all he asks.

„A few months, maybe 6.” Sherlock is still looking at his newspaper folded in his lap.

„6 months?!” Sherlock watches the colour drain from John’s face - it's as if he's been slapped. Well, basically he had been. A piece of information like this can knock a grown man down to the floor. „Did you plan to fill me in on it?”

„Of course I did, John. I’m not an idiot.” That’s insulting so Sherlock needs to look at him to see why he thinks Sherlock would keep something like this from him. And what he sees shocks him. John is… what… relieved? That can’t be. Why would he be relieved? The only answer would be that…

„You want another child, don’t you? You just didn’t know how to bring it up.”, Sherlock says and now John is turning red from his fingers to the tips of his ears.

„… Yes. Look, Sherlock, I just had no idea if you wanted to or not so I didn’t want to push it on you. I asked Mycroft not to tell you…”

„Mycroft knows about it,” Sherlock knows it was too loud and totally not called for, „and I don’t?!”

„Of course he does. You know I can’t keep my feelings for myself. He saw it, said it was practically written all over my face. I wonder why you haven’t deduced it. But, I guess, it explains a lot. You were too busy thinking about the same thing to see it.” John enjoys this. He’s smiling! Ah, the  bastard, he’s going to pay for it. Later…

„So since we both want a child…”, starts Sherlock.

„Yeah, we should look for a surrogate.”, finishes John.

„You mean now?” Sherlock is amazed. That’s why he loves this man. His man.

„Why waste time?”

„And what about Hamish? Who will tell him?” It’s strange for Sherlock that he’s the one to mention is since it’s almost John who acts more mature.

„I’m here, Father.”

What?! He heard this? Since when was he in the living room?

„When did you come in?”, asks Sherlock.

„He came in when you were, apparently, in your mind palace, trying to sort out your thoughts.”, answers John.

„You knew he was here and you let me talk about this?” Sherlock feels that his jaw is somewhere in his lap, resting on the newspaper.

„Of course I did. He’s a big boy now, aren’t you, Hamish?” John looks up at the 6-year-old. „What do you say?” John’s smiling encouragingly.

„Would it mean I would have to share my room and my toys?”, asks Hamish. Ah, that’s my son, thinks Sherlock, always so practical.

„Well for the first few months the baby would stay here with us, not upstairs. And after that… we’ll see. About the toys… Hamish, you know that you have lots of toys and you barely use all of them. Apart from that, you’re a lot older than the baby so you don’t play with those toys for babies, do you?”, says John because he knows exactly how to hear the answer he wants to hear.

„I guess you’re right, Dad.”, says Hamish after a few moments of consideration.

Sherlock just sits there, smiling like crazy. He’s proud. So proud. His man and his son.

„You’ll love being a big brother.”, says John and reaches for the phone. „I’ll cal Mycroft, then.”

„I’ll do it!”, jumps Sherlock, rather too enthusiastically. He has a plan. He runs ot of the room and texts Mycroft.

Speedy’s in 30. –SH

Sounds rather urgent. Meet you there. –MH

„What is it that you need of me in such a hurry?”, asks Mycroft, not polite at all. He takes a seat next to the window.

„John wants to have another kid.”, says Sherlock as he sits, too. He takes up a menu from the table, not caring at all that the elder Holmes brother is enjoying himself tremendously when he realises that Sherlock didn’t know.

„Yes, I’m aware of that.”, says Mycroft and tries to hide his content smirk. „Is that a problem for you?” He asks it just to make Sherlock feel uncomfortable. And Sherlock knows it damn well.

„No, not in the slightest. It’s exactly what I want, too.” The smile is fading rapidly from Mycroft’s face. He hasn’t expected this. Good, thinks Sherlock, very good.

„To have another baby.” It’s a statement not a question. Mycroft is feeling that something unexpected is going to happen. He shifts in his seat with discomfort.

„Yes, obviously.”, Sherlock rolls his eyes. „I want you to help me.” Here it is, he said it. Mycroft’s face changes. Ah, don’t be so smug, he thinks, as his elder brother put both of his hand on the table taking up as much space as he can to make Sherlock feel small.

„Well, well, well, dear brother. That’s the day I’ve been waiting for. What is it you want?”

„I want you to make sure that the baby is John’s.” Sherlock says simply. Mycroft is taken aback. He studies Sherlock’s face.

„He has no idea about this, does he. You want to keep it from John. Why?”, asks Mycroft, one eyebrow raised.

„I already have a son. I want him to have one, too.” His brother stares at him. God, why can’t he understand?. „I know he loves Hamish because he reminds him of me. I want to have a son who looks like him, too.”

„You’re selfish you know that.” But Mycroft understands him. He knows how much Sherlock loves John although it’s not visible for most of the time.

„Yes, but it’s irrelevant at this point. Can you make it happen?” He’s eager to get yes as an answer.

„I’ll see what I can do about it.” answers Mycroft as they both stand to leave.

They are standing in the hall in the hospital. John seems nervous, Sherlock realises. He puts his right arm around his John’s shoulder. John sighs and put his left hand on Sherlock’s. He leans against Sherlock and feels his warm body and relaxes.

„It’s taking too long. Something must have happened.”, says John anxiously as a nurse steps out of her room. John feels like his knees are going to give up on him. Sherlock holds him steady.

„She’s exhausted. It was a long night. But she said you can go in.”, smiles the nurse and leads them to the door. John looks back to the chairs where Hamish is sitting and talking with Uncle Mycroft. The boy is gesturing heavily, seems like he’s having an argument with the Uncle. John sighs and decides not to disturb them as he take Sherlock’s hand and crosses the entry of the room.

Her face is red against the white pillow, her light brown hair is spread like a halo around her head. She hears the door closing and looks up. Her blue eyes are glowing, she’s happy and now relaxed. She smiles invitingly as the two men step closer to the bed.

An that’s when John sees the baby. No black curls. It’s bald. Although… he can see short fair hair. He moves closer, Sherlock still not moving. He wants to see John’s every reaction. John looks at her, asking for permission.

„Yes, take her.”, she says.

Her.

Sherlock rushes there. No, wait, did she really say her? He looks at John. John is holding the baby and his eyes fill up with tears.

„She’s beautiful, Sherlock.” That’s all he can say as he looks up at Sherlock who’s still mesmerized. „Isn’t she?” John sounds worried.

Sherlock looks at her and he skips a heartbeat. A baby who looks like his John. Blonde hair and blue eyes. However at that moment there’s no hair and her eyes are closed. But he knows she will look like John. A baby who looks like John. A baby who is a tiny angel. A girl. She yawns and turns her head to get closer to John’s body. A tiny sigh escapes her small body.

He’s lost. He knows he is. He looks at John whose eyes are glued to the baby girl. They are both damned. This little angel will rule their world from now on.

That’s when Hamish enters. He runs next to them and holds on to Sherlocks jacket at his hips. He tries to look at the baby but can’t reach up high enough. Sherlock lifts him up and he looks at her.

„That’s a girl.”, says Hamish without any enthusiasm.

„Yes, she is.”, says John calmly.

„And her name is going to be Berneen. What do you say, John?”

John just stares at him. Sherlock rolls his eyes.

„Berneen. Irish origin. Feminine form of Bernard, meaning courage of a bear. Friendship, affection and love are extremely important for Berneen. Just as it is for his father.” He looks at John, lovingly.

„I love you, you know.”, says John, all of his affections written on his face.

„I love you, too.” smiles Sherlock.

„Ouch, Dad, Father, I’m right here!”, complains Hamish.

They all laugh and hug each other.

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2013.02.03. 20:55 Bogi Helló! Lehet hogy lehetetlent kérek, de nem lehetne valahogy lefordítani az írást? Nagyon érdekelne a sztori, de én nekem németből van felsőfokúm, meg olasz középfokúm, de angolból az össz tudásom csak...khm... Szóval nem sok. Előre is köszönöm!  Bogi:)